Rejuvenating the Concept of MARRIAGE

Imagine what would happen if you are told to wear the same kind of clothes in winter as you wear in summer- thin, light etc. Probably you might end up catching a cold. The same is the case with social institutions. The change in contemporary situations necessitates the need for change.

 The institution of marriage traditionally considered eternal and sacrosanct in Hindus had no concept of divorce. But over the time, it evolved to include provisions inculcating the same.

 The concept of individuality and personal liberty have emerged as prominent ones. It is no longer a social obligation towards the society or ancestral obligation. The economic reasons for marrying are losing their significance because now even women are becoming financially independent and hence, marrying for gaining financial stability is not that a plausible reason as it was earlier. Now, it is more of a union of two heterosexual people in an institution for cohabitation, satisfaction of sexual needs and companionship, based on love and mutual respect. Marriage, as an institution, is changing in its lens from a male-dominated institution to a female centred one. For instance- some laws give extra safeguards to women, which are often misused.

 Though the reasons for marrying vary - ranging from social pressures to gratification of needs. 

Earlier there was this common phrase in relation to females, ‘ Jahha doli aayi haii, wahi seyy arthii jayegi, chahey kuchh bhi ho jaaye’ (My palanquin has arrived here, so I will stay here till my last breath and my bier will depart from here only). But now this phrase is largely losing its significance. Divorces are increasing at an alarming rate. People generally prefer to walk out of a toxic relationship, than just abiding by it due to fear of social ridicule. Many Indian women prefer not to marry because they fear losing themselves to the other person, giving up on their careers and  also the social expectations attached to marriage- having a child etc. tend to strangle their freedom.

 Men are becoming averse to the concept of marriage, provided they feel that in case of a dispute in the marriage, the law is more likely to favor his spouse. Also, the lifelong commitment to one person scares many, who prefer to live-in- relationship; provided people’ s emotional connect and mutual tolerance is losing ground.

 Given the above elucidated contemporary shift in people’s attitudes towards marriage, it is important to rejuvenate the same, otherwise at some point, it may completely break down and revert to incomitant arrangements. In this age of social media, isolation is already increasing and the further breakdown of the institution of marriage could worsen the same. This could be exacerbated by difficulty in ascertaining lineage and hence property disputes.

 Approaches like pre-marital counselling can offer a solution. Also, the conditioning of the children on the part of the parents needs to assure them that it is not a relation of oppressor and the oppressed, but one based on love, respect and shared responsibility. The main parties to the marriage i.e. the prospective spouses need to share their expectations and have a better understanding of each other before being pushed to marry.

 It is important to understand that there may not be a one size fits all solution to the same, but definitely there are solutions to tackle the same.

 Thus, the rejuvenation of the concept of marriage is quintessential to protecting the social fabric which has held people together for generations and helped them to live collectively as a unit, providing support and comfort.